Race for the Cure, 2057
I'll be 100 years old.
Looks like I got a shot at it.
Right from the moment I saw that dense cloud in the middle of the mammogram, I've had a bad feeling. A brick moved into my chest, in between the sternum and the lump. It kept swelling and getting heavier. My fear, my dread.
I'm not fatalistic by nature. Quite the reverse. I'm naturally bouyant. But always a realist.
When I came to after the surgery, I remember my questions leading me out of the fog. What was it? Did they get it? Did they get it all?
I thought I would know right away.
Surgery was Saturday, June 2. The surgeon reported the sentinel node was positive. How far had the cancer cells been able to wander through my body? What else had the barnacles attached themsmelves to?
We had to wait. The report from pathology wouldn't arrive until Tuesday night.
My husband and I were in my room when my surgeon arrived to give us the news. She had a piece of paper in her hand that she waved as she burst through the door.
Ten nodes removed. Only one positive.
Margins clear.
A stage two cancer.
At last. Some good news. I saw my husband smile the first genuine smile in recent days.
"You're going to make it, baby," he said.
He is a man of reason. He does not tell lies. He relies on evidence.
I allowed myself to feel the first spurt of hope. It is a real thing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
37 comments:
Kevyn,
My thoughts and prayers are with you . I am glad the surgery is done and you are home. Hoping you heal good and fast.
Lisa
Yay! That is good news. I heard Princess Alexis share your voicemail on FM107 and was reduced to tears of gratitude and joy at my desk at work. Keep up the good healing!
:-) Welcome home!
L&L,
Us
Kevyn - See you at the Race for the Cure in 2057 - I will be 78 and we will be walking together :) Glad you are home and that you got the all clear.
Can't wait to hear your voice on the radio again!
It was AWESOME to hear your voice on the radio as Alexis shared with us your voice mail update. The news was THE BEST! Cathy is doing a spectactular cover for you....but as selfish as we listeners are...It's NOT you! Know you are prayed for every minute and I say those extra special ones as I cross over the river everyday. Keep up the good work!
Mary
Relieved to hear the news. When Abby (7) was taking chemo we couldn't attend our little super duper Lutheran church because she couldn't be around many people. Our neighbor would come out of his house every Sunday morning and say "Gotcha covered".
Gotcha covered, Kevyn.
God Bless. Abby's mom
So glad to hear the great news! Sending you healing thoughts--
Patty
Hey Kevyn, so happy to hear the good news! Sending you love and prayers daily. Susan
Kevyn,
I have listened to you on FM107 until I moved about 2 years ago when I got married and moved south of Albert Lea. I am always glad to be able to listen to you on my visits to the Twin Cities.
I am sorry to hear your news but know my thoughts and prayers are with you. I will continue to check in to see how things go for you. My advise is let your friends fuss over you - you need the support.
Another Lisa
On behalf of Sandy
Kevyn,
I hope you have a fast & uneventful recovery. I turn on your program at different times during the week because I usually am working during your air time. I happened to be in the car to find out that you were not on, and recovering from something. I am so sorry to hear about your cancer, and wish you the best in your recovery. Stay positive, an optimistic attitude is quite healing.
Good Luck,
A devoted, but not an everyday listener, who truly enjoys your company in my car!
on behalf of E Fuller
Kevyn, I am so proud of you! You lead the way for us in strength, belief, hope. I will cross the river with you any day. I am so happy for you in your marriage, with the growth of your children and your career. Thanks.
on behalf of Lisa
I just heard about your cancer on my way from my 11th radiation treatment. It is quite the surprise to be diagnosed! What a shock. And yes you do feel very vulnerable, not what I am used to! I am 36 , had a lumpectomy& have gone through the chemo. It's amazing the people that will help & the ones who burying their heads...Hope your recovery goes well & the next few months too!! Prayers are with you.
on behalf of Gail
Kevyn,
God is in every tomorrow, Therefore I live for today, Certain of finding at sunrise, Guidance and strength for the way; Power for each moment of weakness, Hope for each moment of pain, Comfort for every sorrow, sunshine and joy after rain. You go girl..
Your attitude, strength and faith are inspirational.
A long time listener, Gail
on behalf of Dori
Kevyn, best wishes for a good outcome and strength for what lies ahead. I was diagnosed with invasive ductal breast cancer, had a lumpectomy and started chemo. Tomorrow is my second chemo session, of the 8 I will have every two weeks, with 6 wks of radiation after that. I am 55 yrs old with no family history of breast cancer--imagine my surprise after a Valentines Day mammogram, the letter saying I needed an ultrasound..and you know the rest...I was lucky-- no evidence of any cancer in any lymph nodes or anywhere else in the body -- but this "Chemo Summer"; is my insurance policy and character builder that I raise my chances for long-term health...What a transition in thinking, in approach to life, etc... BE KIND TO YOURSELF. I am working on finding grace with this situation...my hair is scheduled to 'leave the building' after tomorrow's chemo session but -- big deal. The wigs are very good these days (not like 30 years ago)... and scarves will work, too. I hope your kids will be ok with your 'new normal' -- and we are blessed with advances in medicine that promise so much hope! Kevyn, I have always liked you, admired you -- we [all] can get thru this treatment together.... it's just so unfair, but...who said life was fair? Heal quickly, dear. Dori
on behalf of Sue
Dear Kevyn,
Quite simply, I hope everything goes well for you during your long haul to recovery.
on behalf of Nancy
I feel like you are my friend. I have watched you on TVand listened to you on the radio. I first heard of you when your former husband came to KSTP. I followed the births of your children. You are a favorite of mine. I am praying for you and wishing you well.
on behalf of Barb
Kevyn,
I pray for you and your family. You are so brave to let us into your during your cancer recovery. Thanks for sharing your life with your listeners. It helps to know "real people" who have real issues - who are able to help others through their own life issues. PS - I have been watching your and listening to you for years here in the Twin Cities. You are the best!!
Sincerely, Barb
on behalf of Debbie
Hi Kevyn. I am slow in writing, as I figured you probably had hundreds of emails those first few days. I don't know if you remember me, but I am one of the Temple Israel girls who walked with you last year at the race for the cure and talked you into speaking at our sisterhood event. You made a big impact, and our sisters have been talking about your diagnosis and impending fight and we all know you will be back in top form. I have been, and will continue to pray for you and yours and wish you only good news from here on out. We all look forward to your humor on the airwaves again soon! Be well.
Fondly, Debbie
P.S. I have been reading your blog. Thank you and Ross for keeping your fans updated.
on behalf of Jody
Hello,
Just wanted to say, that I too was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. It is 5 years today! It hit me like a punch to the stomach. I should not have been a cancer patient. My yearly mamo, missed it, an ultra sound did not see it. It was only upon insistence, at a second opinion appt, that I had a biopsy done which confirmed my fears from my self examine. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for every second of it. I just wanted to tell you.........keep your chin up.
Ultimately, God is in control, let him drive, just sit back and heal. The less stress you create inside the better your chance of beating this. I did two surgeries, the second to remove all my lymph nodes as cancer was found in them. I did the ACT route of chemo for 6 months and radiation every day for 7 weeks. Being bald was a treat, I could get showered and out the door in 10 mins or less. Dont freak. My only bad hair days....... was trying to get my eyebrows on even. :) It puts a new meaning on squeeky clean.
I wanted to recommend a book. The best I found for honest information.
Dr Susan Love's "The Breast Book". Sometimes too honest at times. What a great opportunity you have to teach others. Take that and run with it......... I wish you well, and will keep you in my daily prayers. I will miss you on the radio, and look forward to your return. OOOOO
on behalf of Jessica
Kevyn,
I'm sure you're being inundated with emails, but I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts. Of course, you don't know me, but I feel like I know you quite well. Occupational hazard I guess : ) I drive a lot for work and one day I was scanning the radio channels and found your show. You have been my favorite fm 107 host since. Your show is funny and informative and serious and emotional and silly all at the same time, and it has brought me a lot of needed company in the car. I want to thank you for that and I want you to know that you will be in my thoughts while you are away from the microphone. I wish for you and your family all the strength and courage that will be necessary to get well, and I hope there are many smiles and laughs in there too.
All my best,
Jessica
on behalf of Michelle
Kevyn,
I just want to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you during this struggle. Noone knows why things happen to certain people-my son has had type 1 diabetes since the age of 3, a young man friend only 29 years old fell and had a terrible TBI just a few things that happen out of anyones control. You did not deserve this because nobody deserves illness. I do know this-everything happens for a reason even if nobody knows what it may be at any given moment. Life is what it is--grab it by the horns and enjoy the ride! Many well wishes.
on behalf of Gloria
May God hold you in the palm of his hands and the angels watch over you.
on behalf of Renee
Kevyn,
I heard you tell your story of you and your parents crossing the river on vacation. And then you asked us to think of you as we crossed the river. Well the next day I went on a school field trip with my 8 year old. It was a 2 hour ride down the Mississippi on a paddleboat. I thought of you often and and felt myself very close to you as I was down in the water and not just crossing over the water. I felt that I could almost feel your fear and panic as I felt you trying to tread water and keep your head above it. It was a weird feeling, but I also felt that you ARE going to make it out just fine. Tired and worn out, but fine in the end. As always, you will use this life experience to enhance your intimate communication with the rest of us, your loyal listening friends.
Get better, feel better, and I pray that peace and a sense of calm come to you and all of your family.
Thinking of you,
Renee
on behalf of Jodi
Kevyn,
I am so sorry to hear about your breast cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Be strong and be positive! I will pray for a speedy recovery.
Best regards,
Jodi
on behalf of Audrey
Congratulations, Kevyn, you've come through the first phase of this recovery process from breast cancer. You're a fighter, and my prayers and thoughts are with you. Take care and GOD BLESS you and your fantastic family as you continue your journey through this process of recovery.
on behalf of Marilyn
Dear Kevyn,
I was so sorry to hear about your journey. But we are all sisters and we are here for you.
I walked the Mother's Day Race for the Cure with the LoJ team. I have not missed one walk since the first one. I walked for my sister who lost a 12 year battle and my sister-in-law who is a survivor of 3 years.
In 2004 I walked the 3-day 60 mile Twin Cites walk. I met 14 wonderful friends and walkers and we became the Forget-Me-Knots. Then several of us and my husband crewed for the 3-Day in 2005. That September I discovered my own lump. Had a bi-lateral Mast. in Oct 05. Plus chemo.
Am proud to say I am a survivor and plan on walking the 3-day this August. With some of my old team mates. we are now called Marilyn's Marchers.
We will have you in our heart and thoughts as we walk in August.
Remember you are not alone, you have many sisters behind you. We are here to help and support you in any way you need.
Sending you big hugs and lots of prayers!!! STAY STRONG:)
on behalf of Elizabeth
Kevyn,
Please know that I am praying for you and wishing a speedy recovery for you. Crossing a bridge now takes on a whole new meaning for me. Keep strong. I miss our time together in the am.
on behalf of Sarah
Hope you're doing well - stay strong! Looking forward to your return - godspeed.
on behalf of Mike
You know me as balloon mike just wanted to say best wishes and now when i cross any river in my travels i smile and think of you and say a little prayer take care. Mike
Kevyn & Family,
Listening to your radio signoff was a very moving experience for me. I understand your need and want to not have phone calls and personal visits at this time. It takes great strength to go through this journey and I truly feel you have the strength and support to make a full recovery. I love your analogy of the river. We have a river that runs right through our yard. Just listening to you talk of the river brought a sense of peace to me, so I can only hope it does the same for you. I wish you a speedy recovery and sign off with heartfelt concern for you and your family. Keep your positive attidue, it will take you a long way in your recovery.
Blessings and good wishes!
God Bless You my friend! What a joyous piece of news.....You WILL beat this thing. Perhaps look at the cancer as the rapids of the river of your life....
A gentle hug
Heidi
I read your entries posted after surgery..many times we see a light at the end of the tunnel..sometimes it's a train...I'm so happy to hear your light was a glow from the angels watching over you. :) thank you for putting your life out there for all yur fans who are so worried about you. Your experience gives alot of people hope. Hope to see you around the lakes soaking up good old vitamin D very soon.
I have been thinking of you and your new journey. Prayers continue your way. Your poem was amazing. I also heard your taped message to Alexis, WOW. Keep it up. Looking forward to hearing more of your story. God bless you and yours
Kev-
YES!! What a relief for you and your family! I am glad that you have the talent to put a voice to breast cancer, as it is such a hard thing to explain. So many directions, feelings, fears, and accomplishments. Every time that I finished something related to my cancer, I bought myself a little gift. A blue bag with a pink ribbon, breast cancer scrub type things, an angel, a tattoo, and my most recent, a bracelet with beads depicting the life of Jesus.
I remember each item and the event that took place and am just glad that I am able to continue buying things for myself. Your new normal is coming, you just have to be patient and wait for it.
Kevyn, I knew you are gonna make it!
Aneliya
Kevyn :)
I am so happy that your surgery is over and went well!! You have been in my thoughts and prayers, since the moment, I heard you breaking your news. I know how hard this Journey can be. On the really hard days, concentrate on that light at the end of the tunnel. Take your strength and comfort from those who love you.
Remember Kevyn, you have many loving and healing prayers being said in your name. Miracles happen every day, we just need to believe in them!
My Love, Strength and Prayers to you and your loving family.
GOD BLESS!
Connie XXXXXXX
Kevyn,
Because of you I have finally scheduled my mammogram for June 25th. I can't even remember how many years it has been since my last one. As the years have whizzed by, the harder it has been for me to go in because I felt so ashamed. It's like when you know you have to get an oil change in your car, and as the odometer miles edge upwards to 8,000, you cunningly remove the plastic mileage-reminder sticker from the upper left corner of your windshild. "Hey...aren't I smart!" Eventually you realize that you still have to go in as there is a burning smell coming from your engine. Then, you start creating a psychotic dream-like scenario that people in the auto shop lobby will shake their heads and whisper in disgust about your lack of responsibility. "Hmmm,and SHE is a car owner!" So...today is the first day of the rest of my life - whatever that is! I am no longer ashamed. What is, is. "Yes those ARE callouses on my heels." Thanks Kevyn for the kick in the butt! By the way, I also scheduled my colonoscopy, annual pap, dental cleaning, eye exam ... There is so much to keep track of. Anyway, I think of you daily. I cross the river a lot. The river bank is a vibrant, luscious green - indicating new growth, healthy growth. I visualize that healthy growth in you as I pass the river and feel renewed - energy that I transfer to you for your healing!! Deb
Post a Comment